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AOTW: A woman's illness affects everyone in her life. What advice would you give to friends and family members who have someone in their lives who has breast cancer?
Laney Katz Becker: First I tell them to read my book :). But seriously, when I have a speaking engagement someone always says, "My friend was just diagnosed. I don't know what to say and I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing." My advice is to be honest. If you don't know what to say, say that. Then tell your friend that you'd like to be forgiven in advance for anything you may say or do that may be inappropriate because you're just trying to help. My book contains all kinds of things the characters' friends do that can help, but my general advice is to be specific. Don't say, "What can I do to help?" Instead say, "Can I take your son home after tennis tonight?" or "How 'bout if I stop by and pick up your dry cleaning on my way to the cleaners?" It makes it much easier for us women (who are so used to being independent) to say okay and accept the helping hand.
Barbara Delinsky: Based on the suggestions of the more than 300 people who are quoted in Uplift, I would say the following. Be supportive. Send cards and make phone calls. When in doubt, make that little contact to let the woman with breast cancer know that you’re thinking of her and that you care. Ask her what she needs; different women want different things. Cook a meal. Offer to drive her to treatment. Clean her house. Be patient and understanding; if you are frightened that your friend or loved one has breast cancer, think of what she must be feeling! Most important, be upbeat. Be positive and optimistic. Never, never, never consider the possibility of death as an option!
Jennie Nash: Don't be afraid to knock on the door, and don't be offended if it's not a good time.
Dr. Jane Plant: To be supportive emotionally and practically in the ways I describe in my book.
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